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Friday, April 20, 2012

Bike Riding Adventures and Hurty Crotcheys

Well, here I am. It's been a long time since I last blogged, and I'm not sure if I remember the innies and outies of such madness!

My computer has finally been fixed, so I can blog once again, and lately, I've not had much to write about.

Except for today.

Today, I have a hurty crotchey.

I rode a bike today. Why? I'm on the path to weight loss, and have discovered that running is very bad to me and  my right shin, very bad indeed. So I wheeled the ole' bike out of the shed, checked out those dry rotted tires, figured they were good to go, and took off on the first bike ride I've taken in 15 years.

Wow. I thought I was going to face plant in the first 30 seconds, but as it turns out, you just can NOT unlearn how to ride a bike! It was like I never stopped riding. My legs felt great. I rode for 45 minutes. I thought I was going to die, but a GOOD die, like when you gorge on a mountain of white iced chocolate cupcakes with those little tiny sprinkles that look like millions of balls of happy all over, but in a much healthier way.

When I was done, my legs felt like jelly, and I swear, I could have taken down a bull elephant with my amazing thigh muscles. WHERE have these muscles BEEN all of my life??

I won't lie. The seat hurt. That was the only painful part of my bike journey, was my ass.

Hours later, I'm starting to notice that my crotch... ick.... is achey. My bike seat hates my woman parts, and it's not afraid to show it. (show it show it show it.... It hates me and I know it.)


I've decided to name my bike "The Groin Kicker", bcause this is how I felt afterwards. Like this poor, ridiculously tan man in the yellow sweater. I'm HOPING after I conquer The Groin Kicker, I will feel more like that powerful woman in the leotard, all bright pink, not having to worry about peeing her pants when she jumps, because she's had two kids and her bladder has suffered greatly.  (Plus, check out them bitchin' leg warmers, yo!)

I'm also starting my daily regime of Pilates once again. I used to do those pretty hardcore before kids, and honestly, it was the best I had ever looked OR felt. No WONDER Chuck thought I was cute, I WAS cute!

Does anyone rock out on myfitnesspal.com? If so, by all means, add me as a friend! I figure the more friends I have on their, the more motivated I am to check in every day, and not cheat. My user name is "kobrakaisandy".

Other things that have been going on in the household? Eh, not much, really. Chloe's almost done with kindergarten, Ness has been registered for preschool in the fall, Chuck's job is a load of crap, albeit, a DECENT paying load of crap, and I only work every other weekend. It's been fun. Our upstairs room that we've been working on for the kids has been sort of scrapped in a sense; it's still being worked on, but for Chuck and I. By the time we finish this room, the kids won't want to share a room anymore, not to mention they'll be too old to share a room, being the opposite sex and all. So they'll each have their own room downstairs, and I'll be upstairs, paranoid, and running down the stairs every 5 minutes to check on them as they sleep.

Once again, thank GOD for ADT. If it weren't for them, then thank god  for all the anti-anxiety medications in the world, because I would need them.

Anything else? Eh. Not really. (Note the pattern there. Eh. Not really.)

Keep it real, until next time.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

My Computer Died; It's a Zombie Now.

Hey! How long has it been now? My last post was January some-teen-ish. Three months. Wow.

I haven't done a damn thing in these three months that are worth writing about.

So let's move on.

Hardboiled eggs are gross. Disgusting. HORRIBLE. They stink, they look like an oblong stupid bouncy ball with syphilis, and are stupid to make. They ARE fun to color, though. Mayo is also gross. Mix these two ingredients together, and you'll have the perfect weapon to keep me away for life. Ask Chuck. He never gets love when he eats that combo. Ew.

You like sno-cones? I have perfected the perfect syrup for a sno-cone or slushy. It's amazing. Here's the recipe for madness:

1 1/2 C of sugar
1 1/2 C of water
2 packets of koolaid, flavor of your choice. (make sure they're the same flavor, or mix for something different!)

Boil the water and sugar together for a full minute, then add the koolaid. Mix it in, and let it cool.
Stick that amazing shit into a squeezy bottle and fridge it! It keeps for months!

Wow. Honestly, I had so many ideas for things to write about these past couple of months, and now that I'm here, I'm suffering some serious writer's block. Please don't judge!

I'll try better next time. I promise.