First off, we started with a whole family full of snot filled sickwads. It was beautiful, if you find rivers of green mucus as such.
One of my chilluns gets SO bad, I take her to the ER. Strep throat! The doctor tells me. "See that strawberry tongue?? Get her on antibiotics!"
I can guarantee you that this is exactly what the doctor saw. Like I said, I raise some hardcore chilluns.
So we get that out of the way. My Chloe, my poor Chlo, who hardly ever gets sick, EVER, gets the strep throat. We get antibiotics, and the next day, she goes from shivering and sleeping for two days with a ridiculous fever, to super happy fun time girl. Back to her old self.
Not even a week later, we get a ton of snow dropped on top of us here in good ole' Ohio. Granted, it was about time, seeing as we've hardly had any (or NONE at all, I should say) since winter started, but it was nice to see it. Well. Chuck goes downstairs to smoke his cigarette, and I hear cursing. "Poop in the basement! Poop water in the basement!", except replace poop with "shit", and add a few more creative sounding words in front of "basement", and "poop water".
No, not THAT kind of poo water. I WISH my poo water was this cuddly.
THIS kind of poo water. Not so lovable, is it?
We had overflow. Not cash overflow, although that would have been hella awesome. Nope. We had poop overflow.
Ok. We didn't see any turds in the water. We got real lucky, and a turd never surfaced. But we saw toilet paper. We saw.... brown water. It smelled bad. Chuck was bailing buckets of water, about eight 5 gallon buckets a day, until we got a plumber out.
Before THAT happened though?
Three nights ago, Chuck went down to bail some water. Little did he know, the kids followed him down. (sneaky little shits, just like their mother.) Next thing he hears is a crash, and a blood curdling scream. I heard it from upstairs, dropped everything, and took off downstairs. Chuck's freaking out, I'm freaking out, Chlo's freaking out and covered in blood and poo water, and Ness is all "guys! I want to watch teedee down here! LISTEN TO ME!!!".
At first, it looks like a little scrape. I take her upstairs, give her a wet rag, and tell her to hold it on her booboo until I can get her out of those yucky clothes. As I'm getting her cleaned up, I tell her to let me see her booboo, and when she takes the rag off? Well, if I were Chuck, I would have passed out. She's lucky it was me. It was bad. I saw meat. I knew we had to go to the ER again. AGAIN. Twice in less than a week. These people probably think... I don't know WHAT they think.
So I drive her to the ER. Chuck has to call off work, because the basement is quickly filling up with water, faster than he can bail, and we just don't have a choice.
I almost cried in that waiting room with Chlo. I felt SO bad that this had happened to her. I was wracking my brain, thinking of ways that I could have avoided this from happening, when I realized that I just couldn't. I was busy, Chuck was busy, and the kids just followed him downstairs, as they always have. They didn't know the floor was wet in our tv room (and it hadn't been, until that very night), and in the dark, she took off running, and boom. Slid right in the water.
I know I can't watch my kids all of the time. Of course not. Things happen that are out of our control. Damnit, though. I LIKE to be in control of these kinds of situations. I got to hold her hands when she got her stitches, and I felt horrible when she cried, as they stuck the needles for the anesthesia in her chin. It looked like it HURT. She took it so well, even the doctor and the nurse were impressed. That made me SO proud of her. She was a total champ. I brought her and her numb chin home, and we were all happy again.
We got a plumber. He snaked our main drain, and pulled out tree roots. That's not a good sign.
But that's for another day.
So this week, Chlo survived two bad situations, and proved that she is a true badass, just like her mother. I got accepted to Kent State University's radiology program, and I couldn't be happier. My house is now clean and poo free, for the time being. I ate some cake. My kids are FINALLY in bed.
So I guess we're good. I'm in the clear, for now.
Also. I have had this damn song stuck in my head for days!